confessions

There has been alot of things I have missed writing in this book. For one, I cut a man with my scalpal that was not a patient. He was a mangey pirate and he tried to kill Hestius. I could not have him harmed by such a man. which brings me to number two. Hestius. Hestius of the Warriors Caste, Tarnsman of Ar. A man who I often worshiped from affar and wished to serve whole heartedly many times more then I care to admit. The man who rented me, a simple slave, and dragged me off to places unknown to me and made me into something I was unaware existed inside of me. A killer of men, and women...but I digress. Hestius, who would of ever thought sewing up a wound would of brought me here? I am sitting in a stable in Ar, that has been prefabbed into a Smithy, and a place for sleep. I suppose when he first came to Ar.. a man known as Artimus of Thentis, a blacksmith of some skill and training might of been a poor man. To find out he was Hestius, son of Marlenus, the Ubar of Ubars, rich beyond even his imaginings, it was a great shock. So, why then are we holed up in the old poor blacksmiths stable? That is not my story to tell. But I like it here, with him, its small and cozy, and for a few ahn every day things are normal. I havent said it more then twice, but this man. I love him. I confessed such to the man Connor, deep inside of a cave that I never thought I would get out of. He scoffed at me.. he is from earth and does not understand the life and loves of a slave girl, or the culture of our world, even though he has been here long enough to understand. I suppose some things make sence to him, but the concept of free women and slaves, and their reluctance to change the reality of things? He doest understand it. But that is not what this is about. I confessed my love for Hestius to this man.. and once, to the man Hestius himself. I do not think he was surprised by my confession. Sometime later.. he confessed to me something akin to love as well. I have never been loved in that kind of way by a man before. Sure, by Master Aiden when he was a teen aged urt, and for a short time when he became a man.. but then he sold me because I made him weak. Having been the slave of the woman for so long now I forget what it is like to be loved.. in that kind of a way by a man. Im afraid of how things will pan out. He has laid a certain claim to me on the adventure of our trip. Around my neck, he has tied a braided piece of cloth... I think it might of been from the fabric of his warriors tunic he once wore. He tied it snug around my neck, and down my back their falls three tails of fabric that tickle my ass. It has changed the way I walk like the ribbons Jacopo once tied about my neck. Much has changed about me under the hand of Hestius. If only men would stop making claims on me and walking away when shit gets complicated.. I am making a sleeveless kurtle for myself and a warm wool lined tunic for Hestius to wear when we head north to Torvaldsland. In the north we will find more keys to take Master Connor closer to earth. At least we hope it will... ( to be continued )