Osts and Sleen

     My I dont know where to start. I have been still without my owners now for so long I fear they may not return. I am growing weary of going through the motions everyday. As a slave I continue to do what is expected of me... but yesterday I made a huge mistake. A man who comes from the same steamy hot desert as the Pasha has been my obsession as of late. Whenever my chores are done at the estate I usually go to the waterfalls park and look for him and Uppity. At his feet I always end up. I cant help myself. There is something about this man that is different then most. I made a huge mistake yesterday like I said I usually will go to his side and settle on my belly until he deams it fit to allow me to kneel up and speak. Yesterday I came to the clearing and I spoke to him outloud from a standing position even before I had a chance to kneel at his feet. I was stupid. He is a man greatly vested in his culture and I up and opened my mouth like a foul mouthed wench spewing words at him without permission or care. Im an idiot. He will probabally never let me be at his feet again. I can only Imagine what he was thinking when he struck me last night. It will take alot of begging to get him to notice me again.. I think. If he ever will again. I just wish I would of used my head. Maybe subconsiously I wished to offend him so that I would be punished. I have not been disciplined or punished for a damned thing in so long maybe I did it so I could feel the reprocussions of my actions for once. I can see that maybe being stupid but true. I suppose I could soul search on that a bit. I have a nice bruise on my cheek and a busted lip to remind me of my idiocy. Hopefully he will forgive me when next I see him.

Look at all the lonely people

     I remember once upon a time I used to sit at the feet of my Mistress and comb over medical journals. I was destined to the medical field before I was enslaved and she did not want me to fail in that. So in her free time and mine we would sit by the hearth and she would quiz me until my eyes and ears bled ( not literally mind you ). More times then  not she would allow me into her clinic when she was working and let me watch her operate on people, or else she would allow me to assist on un major surgeries. I miss those times very much. Most times I carry the small bag she allows me with supplies just incase. I never have had need yet to use it.. but I would if I had to. And I would not be afraid of the consequence there after either. I have noticed here in Ar that alot of people pretend to follow a caste that they do not seam to belong to. Its strange but what can you say? I am not one to walk up to a Master and say... " Hey Bub... you should be a scribe instead of a warrior... your entirely too small to wield a sword with any real swing.." but I my mouth shut... because the reality is we are all very lonely and being that, we wish to cling to the warmth of those near by us.. not piss them off with senseless nonsense. I miss... closeness and companionships.. maybe someday the Pasha will bring Lyra home and I will not be lonely anymore....