I sat today on the stairs leading up to the door of Greystone talking to the guardsman as he did his job. My own chores were finished, and my Master was still in the city at his office so I was waiting for him.. but not..you know? I knew he would be home eventually, and I was content to wait there, to greet him when he arrived.. but I did not think I was overly eager in doing so. The guardsman said I was a liar. I was rather shocked at first but as I sat there thinking about it, he might be right. Have I become the slave I usually make fun of? Waiting like a favored pet at the door for my Master to arrive home so I can bring him his slippers and his news scrolls? A warm fur, build up his fire place, make his favorite places more comfortable.. Shit. I am that slave. Why?
I think on it, often, the feelings I have developed for my Master. They scare me.. because the last time I opened up to a man.. and let him have my whole heart.. he freed me and companioned someone else. It was... horrible and it took me this long to finally let him go, and sometimes I wonder if I have truly because I dream of him in the dark of night sometimes when I am alone in my own bed. Its not always good dreams but he is there in my mind still. But I digress, I was speaking of my Master now... Demetri. Builder of Ar. Brother of Divina. Master of me. Sometimes I know its too late. That my heart as well as my body belongs to him but I try sometimes to forget so that I can still have a sane place in my head to fall back to when it all gets to be too much.
Hands Later.
My Master has left Ar.. he had gone to Ar Station and opted to leave me here in Ar with his sister. It was a bitter sweet goodbye... because he didn't tell me he was leaving until the last minute... but in that last night I think I spoke volumes about my feeling for him. Maybe he knows now. When I awoke in the morning be was gone... but there was a note... and my journal.. sometimes I get scared he wont come home. I love him. Its true.. I love him and I miss him terribly. I hide at home when I am finished with my chores because he bid me stay out of trouble and I have known his wrath now.. so I endeavour to do as he asks. When he comes home.. he might just discover my revelation for himself. I drew him a portrait.. and sent it with a letter to Ar Station.. so he can remember me.. maybe it will inspire him to hurry home to us.
