I know, the end is near, and so I face the final curtain...
He said she is home. That she wants me to come back. I have grown comfortable here. The fact that I do not have to walk on eggshells waiting for my Mistress to call me to her chamber of stainless steel tortures.. or to run off into the city and seduce some fat merchant, or lure her prey into some wicked trap has been a blessing. She is home now, and asking the builder to bring me home. I don't want to leave. Crawling into warm furs each night, helping to distract him from the troubles of the day and things on his mind he cares not to share, but uses me in a way that helps him through it anyway, and then just snuggling into the mat with a thin warm blanket before the fire, a chain at my ankle to keep me in place in case he decides to come back for more. It is more then a slave could ask for when faced with that or the alternative. When he called me to his furs to tell me I didn't know how to react. I mean sure.. my Mistress and I have been locked in this hell we call life together for years. I have been with her through some of her worst times when the torturer left and to her son and vanished. I had to deal with her sadness and sorrow.. I know inside of all that ice and anger there is a woman with real emotions and a heart.. its just not often... thanks to the life she has lived and with whom she lived it, that one sees past the wall. I have been there for her through good, bad, and otherwise and have lived not unscathed from the experiences myself through it all. Its just.... since the torturer left with her son she has been sooo damned bitter. Its hard to see her this way. So when she dropped he on the door of the builders house.. it was a blessing in disguise. Freedom from the madness. I can breath here. Its not a bad thing that I get to see his face daily either. I would never tell him that since I have been here I have finally been able to breath without that sharp pain in my chest from missing Him. Its better that if I must leave.. that I just go... cut the line clean and walk away. I can't get attached.. she would exploit that like nobodies business.
